She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
