So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
