He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
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other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
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I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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