My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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