I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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