White coat. Heels.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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