Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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