The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Fuck appropriateness.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
