I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
