Well apparently he's into motor boating.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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