So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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