Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My bed smells like the plague
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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