I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I can't turn off my feet"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Congratulations! We have a period
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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