don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
