He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
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Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
His nipple licking is glorious
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