The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
