what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
