ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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