Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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