I smell stomach acid.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
