You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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