Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
