So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize