Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
