Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We have started to decorate penises.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
