just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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