I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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