She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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