look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
