I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
