It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
