if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
