About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
