Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
