Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
