I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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