the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
