Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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