i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
