wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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