this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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