so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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