You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize