I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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