thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
