Don't make out with my wife yet
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize