You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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