The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
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Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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