Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
being pregnant is like rehab
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize