He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
