All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
