OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
