they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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