I think I died a long time ago.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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