Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
