Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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