And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
